We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
did i walk over a car last night?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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