You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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