happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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