Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
