im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
