I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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