Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
