i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Mom said you looked used
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
