he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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