Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
