It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
