You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
