it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Vodka?
Forever.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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