it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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