I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
