his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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