we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize