So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
