I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
