so explain again why im purple
no
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize