What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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