idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
