the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
