please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
