Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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