Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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