don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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