he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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