The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think people are normalizing furries
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
