Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
