Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
