thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
