Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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