he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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