i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You can't just leave with hair like that
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
