marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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