her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
