Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
