Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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