I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
