And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
