i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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