Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
