I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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