My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
