So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
