i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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