The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
