You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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