I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We had sex on a dog bed..
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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