Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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