loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
