clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
