fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
