i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
