My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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