Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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