I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
