Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
