I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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