I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
